| Re: Host recommendations (slightly OT) [message #172587 is a reply to message #172579] |
Tue, 22 February 2011 01:39   |
me
Messages: 192
Registered: September 2010
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On 2/21/2011 8:23 PM, Jerry Stuckle wrote:
> On 2/21/2011 8:02 PM, Bill B wrote:
>> On 2/21/2011 7:11 PM, Doug Miller wrote:
>>> In article<iju58o$9nq$1(at)news(dot)eternal-september(dot)org>, Bill
>>> B<me(at)privacy(dot)net> wrote:
>>>> On 2/21/2011 11:44 AM, Doug Miller wrote:
>>>
>>>> > The nice thing about Usenet is that it's so easy to filter out or
>>>> > ignore
>>>> > things that bother you. Like your continual harping at Stuckle. Yes,
>>>> > he's a
>>>> > jerk. No, he's not going to stop being a jerk just because you ask
>>>> > him to, no
>>>> > matter how often you ask -- he's already made that quite clear.
>>>> > That's the
>>>> > nature of jerks. If you don't like reading his posts, then killfile
>>>> > him. Just
>>>> > like I'm going to killfile you, the next time you post one of these
>>>> > pointless
>>>> > requests. You've made your point: you think Stuckle's obnoxious. I
>>>> > trust I've
>>>> > made mine: you're getting that way.
>>>>
>>>> So noted. I have higher expectations of Mr. Stuckle.
>>>
>>> Just out of curiosity -- on what do you base those higher expectations?
>>
>> Short answer: I think he is able, and needs only find the will.
>>
>> Longer, rambling answer:
>>
>> My experience tells me that when people know what is expected there is a
>> higher probability that they will reach for it. I aim high and press
>> hard. I expect people to be at their best. There isn't any reason not to
>> be.
>>
>> My experience tells me that when people know where the boundaries are,
>> they tend to work within them (after testing them, of course). I
>> consider civil discourse a reasonable boundary. I expect everyone to
>> respect others, and expect to be respected. I expect to respect others,
>> and I expect to be respected.
>>
>> While there isn't any reason not to be at your best, there are sometimes
>> obstacles. We all have "stuff" we carry around. I carry "stuff" around.
>> When people come up against their "stuff", the people who have concern
>> for them (I mean that in a general "agape" sort of way) let them know.
>> And give them encouragement.
>>
>> You said Mr. Stuckle is a jerk. I disagree. He may occasionally act like
>> a jerk, but that is a long way from being one. I act like a jerk now and
>> then. That doesn't make me one as a matter of being.
>>
>> I believe that Mr. Stuckle will see that he can accomplish what he wants
>> through civil discourse, which usually takes a giant step forward when
>> we don't take things personally. That's difficult, but can be
>> accomplished with a little heavy lifting.
>>
>> I think he can do better (as can I and everyone else) and I think he
>> will. That is the basis for my higher expectations.
>>
>> As to putting me in a killfile - they are handy little things, but
>> you/I/we should realize that putting someone in one has nothing to do
>> with that person - it's just you/me/us working out your/my/our "stuff."
>> Far better to remain engaged and make a difference, leave the world a
>> slightly better place than you found it.
>>
>> I appreciate the question; thanks, Doug.
>>
>> Bill B
>
> You miss one salient point, Bill.
>
> I've spent my whole life kissing up to idiots and pricks. The one thing
> I learned is that no matter how nice you try to be, some people are
> pricks no matter what you do.
>
> I'm at the point now that I just don't give a damn. I'm comfortable with
> myself; I don't need external verification that I'm a good guy.
>
> So when I see idiots making stoopid remarks, I'll call them on it. And
> I'll use language they understand, because trying to be nice to them
> doesn't work. And when people make honest requests for help, I'll help
> them in the best way I know how.
>
> And quite frankly, I don't give a damn what you or anyone else thinks.
>
As I have noted repeatedly, Mr. Stuckle, I am not the thought police.
Speak freely, say what you will, as you wish. When you cross the line
into hostile, bullying behavior, I will bring it to your attention.
You can use language you think they understand without being hostile and
aggressive. That, and that alone, is the issue to which I draw your
attention. Civil discourse.
Having said, that, people respond to being called stupid with the same
understanding you show when someone calls you stupid. Unfortunately,
your theory falls apart pretty quickly. So, your real reasons may lie
elsewhere. Think about it.
You always have the option to rise above. Then you will have personal
power, which for the most part you currently squander at a reckless rate.
Bill B
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